5-1-10

This was going to be a 9 mile run but by 7.5 we had run the full trail and were just ready to go home. It was a good run.

4-29-10

Early morning run with Karri. Felt good but took some breaks. I look forward to our runs, I wish we were running the marathon together, the time would just fly by.

4-27-10

This is the first week of tapering. Yay for tapering! I am so very tired of long long runs.

4-24-10 WRC 30K (18.64miles)

This was my 18.64 mile, last run of the WRC, longest run of my training runs. I did it. I felt really good most of the time, it was hard but I never felt like I couldn't finish.  As I was running I kept thinking how good I felt compared to how miserable I had felt last night.

 Last night I was so sick to my stomach, so drained of energy, I couldn't eat without feeling sick, I was tired but couldn't sleep. I was so discouraged and told James I wasn't sure if I was going to do the 18 mile run. The only thing was that I really wanted to get my finishers certificate for the Winter Racing Circuit.

I decided I would just set my alarm and if I felt good when I woke up in the morning I would do it. Morning came and I got up and felt fine, I got dressed and headed up to Eden to the Red Moose Lodge to do the run.

It was pretty slow going, I didn't push myself just tried to keep moving forward. Getting to the halfway point took forever!

 Being out there for almost 4 hours was hard and I was slow and my knees and hips hurt but I would rather be tired and sore than laying in bed feeling like I was going to throw up. I think I was about sixth to last to cross the finish line but I am okay with that.

Afterwards I just sat in the sun and relaxed for a while, it was a beautiful day.

They announced the winners of the Training Circuit and everyone got some free stuff (water bottles, bag, hat.) I am so glad I was able to do it.

A little determination and a whole lot of prayer got me through today.

And I got my finishers certificate!

4-20-10

Went running with Karri before the kids got up. We planned on 5 miles, it went by so fast we didn't even notice when we had reached 5 until we had gone 5 1/2. It was such a good run, I felt great, not sick at all. I even felt good for about an hour after I got home.

The rest of the day I felt pretty sick though, every smell makes me sick. I am so tired of feeling like this and I don't see an end in sight. I have completely stopped nursing Jack (2 days now) he isn't very happy and doesn't take a bottle. I am just trying to get enough fluids in him by giving him a sippy cup, atleast he doesn't throw the sippy cup across the room like he does the bottle.

4-19-10

Today I decided I would try the treadmill in the basement again. James got the TV to work and I just figured I would run as many miles as I could stand. It turns out it wasn't very many. I got two miles in. Two miles with two stops to get Livy snacks, 1 stop to pick her up after she fell off of the weight bench and 2 walking breaks. It wasn't a good run but it was better than laying in bed feeling sick.

I really can't figure out how much of all of this is mental and how much is really physical. I am overly emotional and am feeling sorry for myself because I feel sick. It is hard to go from feeling like I was in the best shape of my life to feeling like I want to lay in bed all day. Right now I don't think that running the marathon will be a risk to the baby because I won't be very far along but I am just so tired and discouraged I can't even imagine running that far. It seems impossible and I would rather quit now then get there and have to quit in the middle of the race.

I dont' know what I will do.

4-17-10 Attempted 18, accomplished 14.

Ugggghhhhhhhh. This was supposed to be my 18 mile run. I just couldn't get myself to do it.

I started off with Karri and Mandy and we planned on doing 10 miles. I felt okay, I had to make a bathroom stop at about 3 miles and also took off one of my shirts because I didn't realize how warm it was going to be today. I had to ask them to walk about 4 times because I felt like I was pushing a little too hard. They were nice enough to slow down for me. Most of the 10 miles went by okay, I felt alright and I was having a good time just chatting and having someone to run with. At 10 miles I dropped them off at Karri's house and then planned on running home to refill my water and use the bathroom again. When I got home I just wanted to lay down and go back to bed. I changed my shirt because I was so sweaty and slathered on some more "body glide" on all the friction areas. I used the bathroom about 4 times and still felt like my bladder was full. I told James I just wanted to stay home. He talked me into not quitting and told me to just run over to the Soccer park where Rachel was playing her game. It was about 4 miles. I got 1/2 a mile and called him and begged him to pick me up. He said he would but that he thought I could do it if I just tried. So I just kept running. I ran past another park, stopped to use the bathroom again and then ran (walked a lot) to the soccer field to watch Rachel's game. I ended up at 14.38 very slow miles but I was glad James encouraged me to not stop at 10 miles.

I am so discouraged. I feel like I need to go the bathroom with every step, I want to throw up most of the day and I am just tired. I don't know what I am doing. I am just frustrated and discouraged and confused. I have worked really hard to get up to this many miles and now I just don't know what to do. I think a lot of it is mental, but being nauseous really is frustrating and it is hard to concentrate on running when it feels like I need to go the bathroom all the time.

Sigh.

Also my energy chew "shot blocks" make me want to throw up.