Ugggghhhhhhhh. This was supposed to be my 18 mile run. I just couldn't get myself to do it.
I started off with Karri and Mandy and we planned on doing 10 miles. I felt okay, I had to make a bathroom stop at about 3 miles and also took off one of my shirts because I didn't realize how warm it was going to be today. I had to ask them to walk about 4 times because I felt like I was pushing a little too hard. They were nice enough to slow down for me. Most of the 10 miles went by okay, I felt alright and I was having a good time just chatting and having someone to run with. At 10 miles I dropped them off at Karri's house and then planned on running home to refill my water and use the bathroom again. When I got home I just wanted to lay down and go back to bed. I changed my shirt because I was so sweaty and slathered on some more "body glide" on all the friction areas. I used the bathroom about 4 times and still felt like my bladder was full. I told James I just wanted to stay home. He talked me into not quitting and told me to just run over to the Soccer park where Rachel was playing her game. It was about 4 miles. I got 1/2 a mile and called him and begged him to pick me up. He said he would but that he thought I could do it if I just tried. So I just kept running. I ran past another park, stopped to use the bathroom again and then ran (walked a lot) to the soccer field to watch Rachel's game. I ended up at 14.38 very slow miles but I was glad James encouraged me to not stop at 10 miles.
I am so discouraged. I feel like I need to go the bathroom with every step, I want to throw up most of the day and I am just tired. I don't know what I am doing. I am just frustrated and discouraged and confused. I have worked really hard to get up to this many miles and now I just don't know what to do. I think a lot of it is mental, but being nauseous really is frustrating and it is hard to concentrate on running when it feels like I need to go the bathroom all the time.
Sigh.
Also my energy chew "shot blocks" make me want to throw up.
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